Thank you for sharing, Sara! Like always your writing is so descriptive and makes us feel as though we are feeling those exact feelings. I myself go back and forth with the feeling of being bored whether it be in my own home or even at work.
I’ve recently started a new job and I’m still in that phase of excitement and just taking it all in. I can tell the people around me who know the job and have been there for a long time don’t see why I still have the excitement to be there. I guess its just because its all new to me and I’m basking in the experience. So when you talked about early adulthood and wanting to make the time go faster, I understood that feeling; even I feel that when I’m doing what I love.
Although you and Tegan might have the feeling of not doing much on set or just waiting, you are observing SO much. You are probably even observing things that most people on set wouldn’t have time to observe. Being a wallflower in certain moments of life can be very rewarding and although you are questioning how you will remember this time in your life/career, think about how you are getting a different experience than those around you. Bask in this moment, maybe even journal about what you’ve observed on set during the day and even those little moments as well!
Again, thank you for posting and I can’t wait to see more updates/posts about the show!
I think we forget we're individuals and that not everything works for everyone, there are so many factors that drive people to do what they do. I work a 9-5 job because that works for me, I need structure and stability. I worked in the film industry for a year which my friends glamourized, and even though I loved what I was doing it was very unstable and I was just a walking puddle of anxiety. It was a major life crisis but I realized what my priorities are.
On another note, you talk about watching your life being recreated for this project but I wonder if you talked about it with your friends who are also characters, how do they feel about having someone impersonate them? Have they been part of it at all?
“But an outsider can also burn battery life when I need to recharge.” I love and relate to this sentence so much. People don’t often understand that interaction can truly “burn battery life.” I teach at two places: a middle school and a university. The experience is very different, but I am compelled to deal with multiple people and personalities during the day. When I go back home, I feel like I need to recharge. I often isolate myself after a long day of teaching. Interaction with others would be hard, sucking the life out of me, exhausting. Though it gets boring and becomes a routine, but the novelty of the feeling that you have to entertain God knows how many kids a day and attend to their academic needs never washes away from me. This is something I didn’t find in an old 9-5 job. It was just mundane and ordinary. Truly boring. But, overall, these are all jobs and the “boring” part is somehow attached to them at some point. People seem to forget that being a musician is also having a job. It’s really a business and you have to help it grow. That can be pretty boring and exciting at the same time.
On a different note, what’s your favorite part about filming has been? How does it feel like to see someone else playing you on screen? Do you feel awkward? Embarrassed? Overwhelmed? Is it pure bliss or does fear accompany that?
Omg I totally understand how you’re feeling about being on set. I’m an Assistant Director and Stand-In and I see all sides of life on set everyday. We have visitors and various producers sit by the monitors each day and they each experience and see the shoot from their own unique perspective. You’re very lucky that you get to oversee and experience your truth and story come to life while trusting those around you to ensure you’re being represented in a way that feels right for you. Whether I’m standing in for cast or ADing, I make sure i journal my experiences, taking the time to jot down how I am feeling at that time, because the days on set are so long and laborious that there is barely anytime to reflect until production is over, and by that time I have forgotten all the joy because I’m too exhausted to remember anything haha. This is your moment, whether you’re in front or behind the camera, and without you, none of this would be happening. Enjoy your moment, take BTS photos, sit and take it all in because this is such an incredible new chapter in your lives. Have a lovely weekend guys. Much love, Ash x
Hearing this unfold in real time from you two as a fan is amazingly special to me (and a lot of us I believe). Thanks for sharing and letting us in on your thoughts of this new experience, Sara. <3
It must be fascinating watching it all unfold when it is based on your life, your book, filmed in your old house and former high school, I'd want to be there for every step of the process. Is it weird seeing the cast play your life out in front of you? Do you think you'll write any music for the TV show soundtrack?
It's super strange at times, but, also it's now something entirely its own. So that helps put a little distance. We aren't writing any new music, but there will be lots of T+S (from that era) sprinkled throughout
I remember an interview where Tegan (i think) had mentioned that T&S operate on a timeline 5 years ahead. Sure, it made sense, but Sara, I can't say my brain didn't explode when I realized you dropped an Easter egg for this Substack in a WDTGG pandemic summer series ep when you broke out Tiffany lyrics from I Think We're Alone Now. (Did you have to buy rights to use the title?) Finally, I too know what those TSwift fans feel like. Naturally, this led me down the rabbit hole of remembering other times when you guys had eluded to projects or band directions that would be announced a year or two later.
As fans, we all understand how much work the two of you have put into building your career. It's not hard to see that you took the risks necessary to create the success you have now. We know there were bumps and sacrifices along the way, but you guys did it and you keep going, and I think that's why we are all so inspired by you both. And when the world got boring and lonely, y'all showed up and were funny and entertaining, and brought us comfort. As fans, we are grateful, and extremely proud of you. We're behind you through all your endeavors. So be nostalgic; reflect over everything you put into building your business ("of art" -sry had to) and take the time to step back. Relish in what you have accomplished.
Mar 27, 2022·edited Mar 27, 2022Liked by Tegan and Sara
As someone who makes a career indirectly from observing the human nature, I am fascinated by how startlingly different your writing is from Tegan’s. Yours reads like an introspective entry in a journal of someone who is trying to understand the world by drawing from her own experiences, while Tegan’s reads like a conversation with a best friend reminiscing about the antics and nostalgia of past experiences that you’ve created and shared.
You write that:
“But the black hole takes the good stuff too. The thrill of a crowd roaring as the stage lights are extinguished is a sound so familiar I've come to only notice it in its absence. My threshold for surprise, joy — even fear — has been raised impossibly high.”
How do you then see yourself moving between the mania and the mundane? Do you find yourself wondering whether you have inadvertently set yourself up for future disappointment when the black holes eventually takes all the good stuff?
Perhaps when the thrill of it all fades in this chapter of your career, might you consider a second career in writing? I think you would make a great mystery fiction writer.
I appreciated this feedback, observation from you! A mystery fiction writer sounds fun :) I do think that the mania and mundane must balance out or it would be impossible to function. I think my main takeaway from week one on set is...I'm having a "first" experience which doesn't happen that often. So i'm enjoying it as much as I can!!!!
I'dont know if you're aware, but you both may have found teleportation..Because even though I'm so far away, I can feel your feelings, with your shares here.. You both may have also found immortality..There's your clothing, your hairstyle, the way you talk,Tv show, the people who imitate you, and it's never going to end..Immortality must be cool thing..I love you both so much😘😘
Mar 26, 2022·edited Mar 28, 2022Liked by Tegan and Sara
Loved this Sara, yeah enjoy it for however long the feeling lasts I say. In the background of something that’s all about you, if nothing else that certainly must be a unique feeling. 👀🙂
I think a lot of people don’t realize that being an artist (musician, actor...) is a real job, and it’s a lot of work, not always enjoyable. Entertain people is not always entertaining.
My job is always boring though, so...
PS I hope I was one of the visitor who injects energy and not one who burns battery. Also I hope we can talk about that another time. I improved my English!!! A bit... 😂😂
As always, a fascinating read. I think Tegan and Sara, more than any other band, has made it very clear that to succeed, and to remain, in the music business means to take the job seriously and define stucture within chaos.
Thank you for sharing. Again so eloquently written and makes me feel your emotions. I teared up listening and reading it because it feels so real. The lives you and Tegan live can be exhausting and I agree routine really does help with so many things in life including what you described. The old adage of if we knew then what we know now can play havoc in our minds when we think back to how we viewed the world in high school. What we thought real life / adulthood was like. For most of us we can't see the reality of it then.
How is watching your high school years be filmed versus when you wrote the book different? Does it bring up different emotions?
Filming at Crescent this week must have been a flash from the past. I can't wait to see it in the show because I have never walked the halls of my Dad's high school before.
As for memories being on the other side. I totally hear you in that as we get older and farther from experiences we forget a lot of them. I feel like its so different now with all the tech and cameras and everything we have access to in order to savor those memories. When I traveled to Europe in 2006 I can remember thinking "I will never forget this" over and over again. Now 16 years (eeekkk geez that seems like forever ago) later I struggle to remember if I don't have a photo of it. Looking back I can draw up those memories and feelings from a picture but otherwise it's so much blank space in time. I wish I had my journal from my trip (my prof lost it between her leaving England and marking it and when I got back from my extended trip 😢) because there would be so much more to remember. So my advice to you right now as you soak up the experience of not being the star of the show but instead part of the team behind it, journal. Record your feelings and thoughts whether it be in a book written down, a Journaling app on your device or even do videos of yourself (on camera or just audio) that you can go back to in the future. Snap those behind the scenes clips when you can and tuck them away. This is an amazing opportunity for you to see all the different sides of production. Enjoy it and I hope that while you sit watching the world around you, that you are sharing at least a bit of it with Tegan. Do you two sit and reminisce as you are watching scenes or are in locations that provoke memories?
Maybe you could share some pieces of the original manuscript or experiences that didn't make the final cut for the book with us here on substack. Would love to hear more adventures in our fair city. That's one thing I really connected with in reading the book was recognizing all the places (communities, malls etc) you talked about as the same places I was at that time too. Such a small world, wish our paths would've crossed (they might have and I dont know it). Have a wonderful weekend Sara! Take some time for self care in all the chaos. 💛
Being on sets when I was in college (video production major) was so fun, even during the down time. I hope the entire experience is a rewarding one.
Love the “On Directing” link!
lol
That’s cool.
Thank you for sharing, Sara! Like always your writing is so descriptive and makes us feel as though we are feeling those exact feelings. I myself go back and forth with the feeling of being bored whether it be in my own home or even at work.
I’ve recently started a new job and I’m still in that phase of excitement and just taking it all in. I can tell the people around me who know the job and have been there for a long time don’t see why I still have the excitement to be there. I guess its just because its all new to me and I’m basking in the experience. So when you talked about early adulthood and wanting to make the time go faster, I understood that feeling; even I feel that when I’m doing what I love.
Although you and Tegan might have the feeling of not doing much on set or just waiting, you are observing SO much. You are probably even observing things that most people on set wouldn’t have time to observe. Being a wallflower in certain moments of life can be very rewarding and although you are questioning how you will remember this time in your life/career, think about how you are getting a different experience than those around you. Bask in this moment, maybe even journal about what you’ve observed on set during the day and even those little moments as well!
Again, thank you for posting and I can’t wait to see more updates/posts about the show!
"Being a wallflower in certain moments of life can be very rewarding"....I love this phrase ❤ It's so right...wallflower....hmmmm love it
I think we forget we're individuals and that not everything works for everyone, there are so many factors that drive people to do what they do. I work a 9-5 job because that works for me, I need structure and stability. I worked in the film industry for a year which my friends glamourized, and even though I loved what I was doing it was very unstable and I was just a walking puddle of anxiety. It was a major life crisis but I realized what my priorities are.
On another note, you talk about watching your life being recreated for this project but I wonder if you talked about it with your friends who are also characters, how do they feel about having someone impersonate them? Have they been part of it at all?
Our friends and parents are so excited, but, there are plenty of anxieties about the process.
“But an outsider can also burn battery life when I need to recharge.” I love and relate to this sentence so much. People don’t often understand that interaction can truly “burn battery life.” I teach at two places: a middle school and a university. The experience is very different, but I am compelled to deal with multiple people and personalities during the day. When I go back home, I feel like I need to recharge. I often isolate myself after a long day of teaching. Interaction with others would be hard, sucking the life out of me, exhausting. Though it gets boring and becomes a routine, but the novelty of the feeling that you have to entertain God knows how many kids a day and attend to their academic needs never washes away from me. This is something I didn’t find in an old 9-5 job. It was just mundane and ordinary. Truly boring. But, overall, these are all jobs and the “boring” part is somehow attached to them at some point. People seem to forget that being a musician is also having a job. It’s really a business and you have to help it grow. That can be pretty boring and exciting at the same time.
On a different note, what’s your favorite part about filming has been? How does it feel like to see someone else playing you on screen? Do you feel awkward? Embarrassed? Overwhelmed? Is it pure bliss or does fear accompany that?
It has been SO intense and surreal! I'm just amazed at every part of it!
Omg I totally understand how you’re feeling about being on set. I’m an Assistant Director and Stand-In and I see all sides of life on set everyday. We have visitors and various producers sit by the monitors each day and they each experience and see the shoot from their own unique perspective. You’re very lucky that you get to oversee and experience your truth and story come to life while trusting those around you to ensure you’re being represented in a way that feels right for you. Whether I’m standing in for cast or ADing, I make sure i journal my experiences, taking the time to jot down how I am feeling at that time, because the days on set are so long and laborious that there is barely anytime to reflect until production is over, and by that time I have forgotten all the joy because I’m too exhausted to remember anything haha. This is your moment, whether you’re in front or behind the camera, and without you, none of this would be happening. Enjoy your moment, take BTS photos, sit and take it all in because this is such an incredible new chapter in your lives. Have a lovely weekend guys. Much love, Ash x
thanks for this, ash!
I am very excited to see it when it’s all done. It’s going to be amazing!
Hearing this unfold in real time from you two as a fan is amazingly special to me (and a lot of us I believe). Thanks for sharing and letting us in on your thoughts of this new experience, Sara. <3
It must be fascinating watching it all unfold when it is based on your life, your book, filmed in your old house and former high school, I'd want to be there for every step of the process. Is it weird seeing the cast play your life out in front of you? Do you think you'll write any music for the TV show soundtrack?
It's super strange at times, but, also it's now something entirely its own. So that helps put a little distance. We aren't writing any new music, but there will be lots of T+S (from that era) sprinkled throughout
I remember an interview where Tegan (i think) had mentioned that T&S operate on a timeline 5 years ahead. Sure, it made sense, but Sara, I can't say my brain didn't explode when I realized you dropped an Easter egg for this Substack in a WDTGG pandemic summer series ep when you broke out Tiffany lyrics from I Think We're Alone Now. (Did you have to buy rights to use the title?) Finally, I too know what those TSwift fans feel like. Naturally, this led me down the rabbit hole of remembering other times when you guys had eluded to projects or band directions that would be announced a year or two later.
As fans, we all understand how much work the two of you have put into building your career. It's not hard to see that you took the risks necessary to create the success you have now. We know there were bumps and sacrifices along the way, but you guys did it and you keep going, and I think that's why we are all so inspired by you both. And when the world got boring and lonely, y'all showed up and were funny and entertaining, and brought us comfort. As fans, we are grateful, and extremely proud of you. We're behind you through all your endeavors. So be nostalgic; reflect over everything you put into building your business ("of art" -sry had to) and take the time to step back. Relish in what you have accomplished.
As someone who makes a career indirectly from observing the human nature, I am fascinated by how startlingly different your writing is from Tegan’s. Yours reads like an introspective entry in a journal of someone who is trying to understand the world by drawing from her own experiences, while Tegan’s reads like a conversation with a best friend reminiscing about the antics and nostalgia of past experiences that you’ve created and shared.
You write that:
“But the black hole takes the good stuff too. The thrill of a crowd roaring as the stage lights are extinguished is a sound so familiar I've come to only notice it in its absence. My threshold for surprise, joy — even fear — has been raised impossibly high.”
How do you then see yourself moving between the mania and the mundane? Do you find yourself wondering whether you have inadvertently set yourself up for future disappointment when the black holes eventually takes all the good stuff?
Perhaps when the thrill of it all fades in this chapter of your career, might you consider a second career in writing? I think you would make a great mystery fiction writer.
I appreciated this feedback, observation from you! A mystery fiction writer sounds fun :) I do think that the mania and mundane must balance out or it would be impossible to function. I think my main takeaway from week one on set is...I'm having a "first" experience which doesn't happen that often. So i'm enjoying it as much as I can!!!!
I'dont know if you're aware, but you both may have found teleportation..Because even though I'm so far away, I can feel your feelings, with your shares here.. You both may have also found immortality..There's your clothing, your hairstyle, the way you talk,Tv show, the people who imitate you, and it's never going to end..Immortality must be cool thing..I love you both so much😘😘
Loved this Sara, yeah enjoy it for however long the feeling lasts I say. In the background of something that’s all about you, if nothing else that certainly must be a unique feeling. 👀🙂
I think a lot of people don’t realize that being an artist (musician, actor...) is a real job, and it’s a lot of work, not always enjoyable. Entertain people is not always entertaining.
My job is always boring though, so...
PS I hope I was one of the visitor who injects energy and not one who burns battery. Also I hope we can talk about that another time. I improved my English!!! A bit... 😂😂
I enjoy your writing. Your life is vastly different than mine, so it is interesting to see a glimpse into your life.
As always, a fascinating read. I think Tegan and Sara, more than any other band, has made it very clear that to succeed, and to remain, in the music business means to take the job seriously and define stucture within chaos.
Hey Sara,
Thank you for sharing. Again so eloquently written and makes me feel your emotions. I teared up listening and reading it because it feels so real. The lives you and Tegan live can be exhausting and I agree routine really does help with so many things in life including what you described. The old adage of if we knew then what we know now can play havoc in our minds when we think back to how we viewed the world in high school. What we thought real life / adulthood was like. For most of us we can't see the reality of it then.
How is watching your high school years be filmed versus when you wrote the book different? Does it bring up different emotions?
Filming at Crescent this week must have been a flash from the past. I can't wait to see it in the show because I have never walked the halls of my Dad's high school before.
As for memories being on the other side. I totally hear you in that as we get older and farther from experiences we forget a lot of them. I feel like its so different now with all the tech and cameras and everything we have access to in order to savor those memories. When I traveled to Europe in 2006 I can remember thinking "I will never forget this" over and over again. Now 16 years (eeekkk geez that seems like forever ago) later I struggle to remember if I don't have a photo of it. Looking back I can draw up those memories and feelings from a picture but otherwise it's so much blank space in time. I wish I had my journal from my trip (my prof lost it between her leaving England and marking it and when I got back from my extended trip 😢) because there would be so much more to remember. So my advice to you right now as you soak up the experience of not being the star of the show but instead part of the team behind it, journal. Record your feelings and thoughts whether it be in a book written down, a Journaling app on your device or even do videos of yourself (on camera or just audio) that you can go back to in the future. Snap those behind the scenes clips when you can and tuck them away. This is an amazing opportunity for you to see all the different sides of production. Enjoy it and I hope that while you sit watching the world around you, that you are sharing at least a bit of it with Tegan. Do you two sit and reminisce as you are watching scenes or are in locations that provoke memories?
Maybe you could share some pieces of the original manuscript or experiences that didn't make the final cut for the book with us here on substack. Would love to hear more adventures in our fair city. That's one thing I really connected with in reading the book was recognizing all the places (communities, malls etc) you talked about as the same places I was at that time too. Such a small world, wish our paths would've crossed (they might have and I dont know it). Have a wonderful weekend Sara! Take some time for self care in all the chaos. 💛