I was having this conversation with one of my sister’s who is experiencing a great life change and is looking to make new friends. She felt weird she gets along better with the elderly than younger folks. I told her well the elderly need friends to. If those are your peeps go for it.
I have no desire to relive my 20’s. I had a good time. My 30’s started out good (finally had finished my BA) but ended sorta blah and sort of remains so (which is fine, the Covid era has tapped out some of my mojo). I’m hopeful for my 50’s.
As I said on Tegan’s post, not taking myself as serious is my greatest achievement. Not that I’m or was really immature but rather I know we only have the one life and I’m happy to be me. Even with little tweeks here or there. 😁
Spoiled milk is just the next evolution in medicine or cheese. 🤣
I’m loving the exchange between you two and the different perspectives. However, as a person in their late 20s and approaching 30, I wish I have your mindset. I feel like I’m losing something valuable in my life, something I won’t have when I turn 30. I am scared as fuck. Maybe I’m scared because I’m single and I feel like if I turn 30, nobody will want me and I will be single forever. I know a deep down feeling within me is scared I’ll never get to have children, that it’s going to be too late later on. It’s ironic because as a teacher to teenagers, I’m surrounded by them 24/7 and I truly don’t want to have kids in my life other than at work. So I always try to guess why am I so scared of getting older. I know I don’t care much for physical appearance, but I can’t pinpoint the fear I have about aging. I try my best to stay in touch with everything my students love and talk about so I could relate to them and not feel like there’s a huge gap between us because it helps me a lot when I can understand their generation, but sometimes I feel like a loser. Like, oh, look at you, you know more gen z slang and trends when people your age are in serious relationships and starting families and are happy. These feelings are so hard to accept and I always feel conflicted and weird about getting a year older when I can’t be as mature as people my age. Did that even make sense? In other words, I worry about getting old because I’m not fulfilling society’s standards of what getting old means.
I love this “rebuttal”. I agree that old doesn’t need to have a negative connotation. As I replied to Tegan before - Not old , Established. Old means no excuses, only choices & decisions. It means time is no longer a ruler to measure a day or a year or a relationship because you haven’t had enough time to discover its true meaning. The more time you experience, the more you can predict the future. Time is a commodity. It is the true currency. People who have aged to prophetic, soothsayer legends know how to spend it and get the best return on their investment.
Aging is a privilege that many do not get to experience. I am grateful for my 48 years on this planet. I have a lot to share, impart, teach. I also have a lot to learn from the younglings in my world. I happily tall them I'm old, which usually means I'm tired and don't bounce like I once did.
I turned 50 in March. I struggle with it a bit, but I feel like I definitely have mellowed. I don’t have as much FOMO as I remember having in my 20s or 30s. I feel like I have way more to offer as well in regards to imparting knowledge of life experiences. Although sometimes my age slaps me in the face such as when my friend’s daughter was explaining Rick-Rolling to me like I wasn’t there for its inception! 🤣
I feel the same way about preferring to be taught, which is why I love these substack posts so much. I feel like I learn something important every single time. You’re a great teacher Sara, I really appreciate these 🙏🏼
I wish ageing was viewed more as an accomplishment, a celebration, a new record achieved! After all, there's nothing impressive about having only been here a short while; we've already done that, get in line. We should be idolizing the traits of the old - full of envy for a look and feel we can only HOPE to step into one day. After all, the alternative is dying young. Nothing enviable about youth, of only just getting here.
As someone who has died more than once (medically, that is), and is unlikely to live terribly much longer, every birthday, grey hair, wrinkle, and frankly, day more is a victory. A gift. Something I never imagined getting. When we realize how exciting it is to be OLD ENOUGH to sallow or sag - bc it means we're still HERE - there's no greater honor. If only we all sought to show that off and have others reflect that same enthusiasm, love, and celebration of those features back to us.
I know my best friends would have given anything to see their first grey hair or know what their 45-year-old face would look like. If I get to see mine, I will want the whole world to see it! Unfiltered. To know I did it. I made it here!
Hopefully this comment makes sense, I’ve had one of the shitist days in the history of shit days so if it doesn’t it’s cause of that. Great post though. I like your point, and I sort of said this in my comment on Tegan’s post, I don’t think of you two as old just more experienced at life, but from what you said I guess that’s what you mean by ‘we’re old’. I respect that! I love getting advice from you both, cause you have so much to offer with all your experience! Glad you clarified though. Others have described me as an old soul (I’m 15, and by others I mean adults), I like that description, I think it’s accurate for me cause, (without getting into it,) I have had a lot more life experience than most other 15 year old’s.
Unrelated but have you seen the latest stranger things episodes? Do you like stranger things? And have you seen Heartstopper?
Sara, this is reassuring. As I enter the final lap of my twenties this year, my body pesters me with unsolicited reminders about what a 29-year-old body can (and CANNOT) do. This can be quite disorientating but your insight reminds me that each click of the joint and lock of the knee (just standing up has become an Olympic sport!) also brings unparalleled wisdom and intuition. If nothing else, to be a fine, fruity and delicious wine!
Well, you can call yourselves elder queers now like me! I’m the oldest out of my friends. I’m older than some of their parents (why I picked TnSMOM as nickname) I do get protective over them at times. Especially when they experience any kind of hate. I have seen/exoerienced a lot in my almost 53 years. Most of it closeted. I feel you on the going out partying tbh I did all my dancing high as fuck on giggly weed and shrooms at the illegal raves in the late 80’s early 90’s. Everything creaks, all my joints crack, I have osteoarthritis, insomnia and long covid amongst other ailments 😂 I’m too old to go out on the piss. I never get hangovers ( even after 3/4 bottle of Patrón Silver) , something which Shura finds upsetting for some reason! 😂😂😂 Having young friends keeps my mindset young. I’m older and more world wise, I was a closeted teen during AIDS crisis, lost three friends to it. Too scared to come out due to my school teaching us that being queer was disgusting and wrong and that we were deviants who needed to be wiped which was why everyone had AIDS. It saddens me that even now in 2022 the younger generation are still having to deal with immense hate and prejudice. I like being older/wiser because to me, it means I come out the otherside of R**e at 19, s**f h**m and 3 s*****e attempts (the last two as a result of cyber bullying from other fans mental health during the LY2D era) I’m getting semi colon’s tattooed on my middle fingers as a “FUCK YOU I’m still here” and to show me that I got through it. Tbh, If I’m not at a gig I would rather stay home with my cat Mo eating homemade Poutine at 3am. 😘❤️❤️
i've always loved having friends and family of a variety of ages - the best way to get different perspectives. talking with my coworker twice my age and then also with my younger cousins helps me feel connected to wider perspectives than just friends my age!
You definitely gain more wisdom the older you get. I've learned a lot from my teenage years and twenties. I'm looking forward to what I'm going to learn in my 30s and 40s.
Yes! Exactly how I feel on this matter. I have always felt like aging and become old, sage and wise is such a privilege. I have lost too many to think otherwise. My mom died at the ripe young age of 57 and I used to think that was old when I was a teen or in my 20s. I was wrong. She didn't get to grow old.
I hope I do and I hope my sisters and friends do also.
Now that I'm in my 30s I feel I have some things to say and i finally am starting to know my worth and set healthy boundaries. It takes so many years to find yourself after years of trauma and abuse. It's just getting good.
I wish more people would embrace aging and fall in love with themselves as they find their first wrinkles and grey hairs.. it really is such a privilege. Such a gift.
Also, good for you for setting such healthy boundaries with the younger gals. That power dynamic can get messy quickly and you did the right thing there. 👏
I was having this conversation with one of my sister’s who is experiencing a great life change and is looking to make new friends. She felt weird she gets along better with the elderly than younger folks. I told her well the elderly need friends to. If those are your peeps go for it.
I have no desire to relive my 20’s. I had a good time. My 30’s started out good (finally had finished my BA) but ended sorta blah and sort of remains so (which is fine, the Covid era has tapped out some of my mojo). I’m hopeful for my 50’s.
As I said on Tegan’s post, not taking myself as serious is my greatest achievement. Not that I’m or was really immature but rather I know we only have the one life and I’m happy to be me. Even with little tweeks here or there. 😁
Spoiled milk is just the next evolution in medicine or cheese. 🤣
I’m loving the exchange between you two and the different perspectives. However, as a person in their late 20s and approaching 30, I wish I have your mindset. I feel like I’m losing something valuable in my life, something I won’t have when I turn 30. I am scared as fuck. Maybe I’m scared because I’m single and I feel like if I turn 30, nobody will want me and I will be single forever. I know a deep down feeling within me is scared I’ll never get to have children, that it’s going to be too late later on. It’s ironic because as a teacher to teenagers, I’m surrounded by them 24/7 and I truly don’t want to have kids in my life other than at work. So I always try to guess why am I so scared of getting older. I know I don’t care much for physical appearance, but I can’t pinpoint the fear I have about aging. I try my best to stay in touch with everything my students love and talk about so I could relate to them and not feel like there’s a huge gap between us because it helps me a lot when I can understand their generation, but sometimes I feel like a loser. Like, oh, look at you, you know more gen z slang and trends when people your age are in serious relationships and starting families and are happy. These feelings are so hard to accept and I always feel conflicted and weird about getting a year older when I can’t be as mature as people my age. Did that even make sense? In other words, I worry about getting old because I’m not fulfilling society’s standards of what getting old means.
I love this “rebuttal”. I agree that old doesn’t need to have a negative connotation. As I replied to Tegan before - Not old , Established. Old means no excuses, only choices & decisions. It means time is no longer a ruler to measure a day or a year or a relationship because you haven’t had enough time to discover its true meaning. The more time you experience, the more you can predict the future. Time is a commodity. It is the true currency. People who have aged to prophetic, soothsayer legends know how to spend it and get the best return on their investment.
Aging is a privilege that many do not get to experience. I am grateful for my 48 years on this planet. I have a lot to share, impart, teach. I also have a lot to learn from the younglings in my world. I happily tall them I'm old, which usually means I'm tired and don't bounce like I once did.
I turned 50 in March. I struggle with it a bit, but I feel like I definitely have mellowed. I don’t have as much FOMO as I remember having in my 20s or 30s. I feel like I have way more to offer as well in regards to imparting knowledge of life experiences. Although sometimes my age slaps me in the face such as when my friend’s daughter was explaining Rick-Rolling to me like I wasn’t there for its inception! 🤣
I feel the same way about preferring to be taught, which is why I love these substack posts so much. I feel like I learn something important every single time. You’re a great teacher Sara, I really appreciate these 🙏🏼
I wish ageing was viewed more as an accomplishment, a celebration, a new record achieved! After all, there's nothing impressive about having only been here a short while; we've already done that, get in line. We should be idolizing the traits of the old - full of envy for a look and feel we can only HOPE to step into one day. After all, the alternative is dying young. Nothing enviable about youth, of only just getting here.
As someone who has died more than once (medically, that is), and is unlikely to live terribly much longer, every birthday, grey hair, wrinkle, and frankly, day more is a victory. A gift. Something I never imagined getting. When we realize how exciting it is to be OLD ENOUGH to sallow or sag - bc it means we're still HERE - there's no greater honor. If only we all sought to show that off and have others reflect that same enthusiasm, love, and celebration of those features back to us.
I know my best friends would have given anything to see their first grey hair or know what their 45-year-old face would look like. If I get to see mine, I will want the whole world to see it! Unfiltered. To know I did it. I made it here!
Hey Sara,
Hopefully this comment makes sense, I’ve had one of the shitist days in the history of shit days so if it doesn’t it’s cause of that. Great post though. I like your point, and I sort of said this in my comment on Tegan’s post, I don’t think of you two as old just more experienced at life, but from what you said I guess that’s what you mean by ‘we’re old’. I respect that! I love getting advice from you both, cause you have so much to offer with all your experience! Glad you clarified though. Others have described me as an old soul (I’m 15, and by others I mean adults), I like that description, I think it’s accurate for me cause, (without getting into it,) I have had a lot more life experience than most other 15 year old’s.
Unrelated but have you seen the latest stranger things episodes? Do you like stranger things? And have you seen Heartstopper?
Anyway, Thanks for the post. Love the title.
Phoenix, he/they/ri/it, 15, Australia
Sara, this is reassuring. As I enter the final lap of my twenties this year, my body pesters me with unsolicited reminders about what a 29-year-old body can (and CANNOT) do. This can be quite disorientating but your insight reminds me that each click of the joint and lock of the knee (just standing up has become an Olympic sport!) also brings unparalleled wisdom and intuition. If nothing else, to be a fine, fruity and delicious wine!
Just yes
I feel your assessment. Being older is a gift.
Well, you can call yourselves elder queers now like me! I’m the oldest out of my friends. I’m older than some of their parents (why I picked TnSMOM as nickname) I do get protective over them at times. Especially when they experience any kind of hate. I have seen/exoerienced a lot in my almost 53 years. Most of it closeted. I feel you on the going out partying tbh I did all my dancing high as fuck on giggly weed and shrooms at the illegal raves in the late 80’s early 90’s. Everything creaks, all my joints crack, I have osteoarthritis, insomnia and long covid amongst other ailments 😂 I’m too old to go out on the piss. I never get hangovers ( even after 3/4 bottle of Patrón Silver) , something which Shura finds upsetting for some reason! 😂😂😂 Having young friends keeps my mindset young. I’m older and more world wise, I was a closeted teen during AIDS crisis, lost three friends to it. Too scared to come out due to my school teaching us that being queer was disgusting and wrong and that we were deviants who needed to be wiped which was why everyone had AIDS. It saddens me that even now in 2022 the younger generation are still having to deal with immense hate and prejudice. I like being older/wiser because to me, it means I come out the otherside of R**e at 19, s**f h**m and 3 s*****e attempts (the last two as a result of cyber bullying from other fans mental health during the LY2D era) I’m getting semi colon’s tattooed on my middle fingers as a “FUCK YOU I’m still here” and to show me that I got through it. Tbh, If I’m not at a gig I would rather stay home with my cat Mo eating homemade Poutine at 3am. 😘❤️❤️
i've always loved having friends and family of a variety of ages - the best way to get different perspectives. talking with my coworker twice my age and then also with my younger cousins helps me feel connected to wider perspectives than just friends my age!
Really love this post ❤️
You definitely gain more wisdom the older you get. I've learned a lot from my teenage years and twenties. I'm looking forward to what I'm going to learn in my 30s and 40s.
Yes! Exactly how I feel on this matter. I have always felt like aging and become old, sage and wise is such a privilege. I have lost too many to think otherwise. My mom died at the ripe young age of 57 and I used to think that was old when I was a teen or in my 20s. I was wrong. She didn't get to grow old.
I hope I do and I hope my sisters and friends do also.
Now that I'm in my 30s I feel I have some things to say and i finally am starting to know my worth and set healthy boundaries. It takes so many years to find yourself after years of trauma and abuse. It's just getting good.
I wish more people would embrace aging and fall in love with themselves as they find their first wrinkles and grey hairs.. it really is such a privilege. Such a gift.
Also, good for you for setting such healthy boundaries with the younger gals. That power dynamic can get messy quickly and you did the right thing there. 👏