Tegan,
As you know, I've never been that interested in astrology, though I find myself accepting of the common stereotypes associated with Virgos because they make complete sense to me. Even a cursory search on the internet turns up what looks to be a cheat sheet of truisms about both of us.
Strengths: Loyal, analytical, kind, hardworking, practical
Weaknesses: Shyness, worry, overly critical of self and others, all work, and no play
Virgo likes: Animals, healthy food, books, nature, cleanliness
Virgo dislikes: Rudeness, asking for help, taking center stage
“Taking center stage,” might seem off given our public personas, but it’s important to consider how being twins has altered what might have been a central part of our identity had we been one person and not two, sharing an identical face. Taking center stage implies control and choice. But, as identical twins, being the center of attention, has felt entirely out of our control, and not ever a choice. Before our band was born, I felt shame and guilt about the kind of attention we received for doing nothing at all. Perhaps that is what it feels like to be a celebrity, famous for being famous.
Playing music drew people to us the way our faces had, except now there was justification for all the fuss we seemed to inspire in others for just looking like each other. Taking center stage with good cause, becomes a Virgo strength, especially when paired with a reputation for hard work and kindness. Being overly critical of ourselves and others has meant a careful, nearly fanatical attention to detail about our reputation and privileged position as public people. Shyness makes asking for help, a terminal condition. I’m fastidious, a voracious reader, and the cleanliness of my home has been described as “oppressive.” All of which to say, being a Virgo tracks.
Why then am I so reluctant to believe, or care deeply about astrology?
At sleepovers in junior high, it was customary to spend hours answering quizzes written for boy crazy girls in the back pages of Seventeen magazine. Is it a crush, or are you in love? What kind of best friend are you? Everything about dating and friendship at 13 was sharpened into a knife, that girls were constantly stabbing into each other’s backs. I lived in fear of giving answers, preferring to be the one who read the questions and circled answers in pencil. The final page in the magazine was dedicated to horoscopes; blurbs also preoccupied with love and boys. This fortune-telling became an additional piece of the puzzle, puzzling me. I was a girl who liked girls, and planets and the stars were no help to me at all.
The arbitrary ways in which we were lumped together as twins, turned me off from standing under any banner of sameness with you. I sought out friendships with people who reassured me that we were nothing alike. In my late 20s, when I met and fell in love with another twin, I was comforted that she too, found the idea of astrology fallible. But it was in the early days of that relationship when I discovered The Secret Language of Birthdays. Combining astrology, numerology, and tarot, I was charmed by the less woo woo assessment of character. I vaguely recall “empirical data” being used to describe the reports.
Sounds like a damn Virgo! Yes, to all.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
The very first paragraph of the report is something I could imagine revealing to a new therapist when asked to describe myself.
Those born on September 19 are very much concerned with the appearance of things. Not only their own physical appearance is important to them, but also that of their home, surroundings, and family. Regardless of their financial station, they are usually very orderly, even compulsive personalities who are able to organize everyone around them into one smooth-running unit.
Remember when I said my desire for orderliness, and cleanliness at home has been described as oppressive? Guilty as charged. And what the report describes as “compulsive personalities who are able to organize everyone around them into one smooth-running unit,” we like to call being efficiency experts. For two decades we have carefully engineered groups of collaborators, and colleagues, into one harmonious ecosystem.
Those born on this day are fascinated by beauty in many forms but particularly sensuous physical beauty. Their own clothing and grooming is most often immaculate, and if they choose to appear sloppy or disheveled they do it with a full awareness of its impact on others—much like wearing a costume. In general, September 19 people adopt the values of their society in dress and taste, but if they wish to attract attention they are also capable of fashioning a more striking look. No matter how far-out their appearance or at what variance it is with accepted norms, however, an awareness of taste is always present.
Let the record show, you will never find me lounging in pajamas during the day or slipping into “comfy clothes” to watch TV. I’m utterly horrified by the prospect of sweatpants on an airplane. It should be illegal to wear flip-flops anywhere but, on a beach, or a pool deck. I am uncomfortable with being too comfortable. I often change my clothes and shower multiple times a day, to “reset.” I don’t dress to attract attention, I struggle to even keep sunglasses on my face, or wear a watch. But I love photoshoots, and “fashioning a more striking look,” especially if I think of it as wearing a costume.
So, fine. I was convinced that the feeling of connection with my report was how people felt about astrology. It was an analysis that clicked immediately. But what really messed with my head was what happened when I ran a relationship report on the two of us. Here it is below, reading like a damn bio for our band! It’s SPOOKY.
The ideal relationship for two Cusp of Beauty people is a platonic one in which they are able to appreciate art, or the beauty of the natural world, without passion or possessiveness getting in the way. A cool objectivity or detachment is likely to characterize this relationship, which can achieve an almost perfect balance, given the absence of messier human concerns. Although such a duo can be enormously popular within their own social and family circles, they are not really interested in compromise in a lowering of standards or sacrifice of ideals in order to widen their sphere of influence. Actually, these individuals see no contradiction between commercial success and artistic integrity, so sure are they of the quality of their work. Should it be appreciated, fine; if not, so be it.
The first time I read this report was on the Heartthrob tour cycle. We’d made a pop album and were pursuing more mainstream opportunities. Pop radio was playing our single, Closer, and we were spending a great deal of time in the press defending the artistic merit of pop music. Our commercial success, as queer women, felt triumphant, especially after years of bumping our heads against the glass ceiling in rock circles. We had a deeply held belief, that what had been reputable, and critically admired about our earlier work, was still a fundamental part of the music we’d created in our pursuit of pop stardom. We were resolute, unwavering.
Nonetheless, setting trends, or at the very least recognizing them, seems to be the fate of this couple. Thus, two Cusp of Beauty people can be of great use to an organization as independent consultants or as permanent members of an executive team. It is not only that they have their fingers on the public pulse; they know how to make that pulse rate quicken or slow at will. In this regard, however, one might say that they act more like experimental psychologists, testing their themes in the antiseptic environment of the lab, than like therapists who interact with clients on a one-to-one basis- their understanding of human nature is not that great.
Fingers on the public pulse and a knowledge of how to make that pulse rate quicken or slow at will. This was the logline for the whole endeavor! We’d anticipated that indie rock and alternative music was about to undergo a drastic change and we hoped to be ahead of that curve. (We were)
Love relationships between two Cusp of Beauty people can stretch narcissism to its limit. Each partner tends to be a mirror for the other- preening, making up, putting on the best face possible. True empathy and depth of feeling are not given top priority. In marital relationships, full emphasis is given to social considerations, which does not exclude putting on a show for the neighbors. Such matchups must beware of passing along false or superficial values to their progeny. Friendships and family relationships between two Cusp of Beauty individuals may show a marked aversion to darker feelings, which are frequently repressed. Escaping problems through drugs is a Cusp of Beauty person's tendency that can, unfortunately, be synergized by this relationship.
I’m still unpacking this last paragraph. We are indeed mirrors for the other and avoid and repress darker feelings while putting on a show for the neighbors. Escaping our problems through drugs, on the surface, is easy to deny. We don’t do drugs. But isn’t music the strongest drug of all?
Sara
Share this post