I do a lot of Instapot dishes. Stews, curries, soups. But now I use it to make the PERFECT rice. I also use our air fryer a lot. Makes veggies so much more fun! Sofia doesn't eat meat but she makes an incredible chicken curry dish. The thing that blows my mind about Sofia is how meticulous she is with her preparation and she follows recipes. She's so patient. I am...not. This past Sunday she made a sweet potato brownie recipe that blew my mind.
New fav entry! Thanks for sharing Tegan ❤️ now I'm curious, as a Brazilian, does Sofia cook Brazilian food for you? What's your favourite? Don't say brigadeiro, that doesn't count!
HA! She does make bad ass brigadeiro. :). She doesn't make much Brazilian food at home, but we have a favorite spot here in the city we go and we shop at the Brazilian grocery store! It's fun seeing her get so happy and excited to eat stuff from her childhood.
It’s nice to hear about you and Sofia bonding over not having children AND being confident in yourselves and each other over that, but still LOVING being aunts!
On a selfish note, it gives me hope to someday find a gf who understands this. At the moment, most people (except my parents luckily) hail an onslaught of questions as to WHY I don’t want children. “Well if you love being an aunt, you’ll love being a mom even more.”
I could really get into this.
It’s just nice to hear you two have that in common, because right now I have that in common with no one.
This was a lovely post Tegan. I look forward to the rest.
PS, your last two albums have become my favorites of yours and a couple favorites in general. They sound fresh and different and cool and are regular go to’s. The beautiful thing about art is that you’re never too old to make it, or to dabble and experiment.
May I suggest a book for you to read? It was one that helped me on my journey to realizing I wasn't interested in having kids. It's called Selfish, Shallow and Self Absorbed.
Don't let the title scare you, and don't let it make you feel judged. It's tongue and cheek! Highly recommend it!
On YouTube and Tubi (a free streaming service) the late great Katharine Hepburn was interviewed by Dick Cavett.
2, 1 hour interviews of a 66 y.o woman in 1973 discussing all sorts of societal things.
You may not agree with everything she says, but she’s still fascinating! She talks about not having children too (and that was the 70s). It’s a hypnotizing interview regarding issues still discussed today. 11/10 recommend.✌️
"Learning new things, The journey isn’t over... these revelations only come when you’re middle-aged" I'm always trying new things for my work (design & 3D) thats what keep me alive in some way between monitors, some times I hope my greatest stuff" its not done yet and I agree that some revelations come in time with experience... My only concern its that Im starting to feel tired...
Such an insightful read! I love your storytelling 🥰 As someone whom is your age I agree with a lot of your views. Getting older but feeling young in the mind and still looking young-ish is a bitch!! So much love to you and yours!! ❤️🍻
Feb 8, 2023·edited Feb 9, 2023Liked by Tegan and Sara
i absolutely loved this substack post. i think you guys dress really cool too. Also, if either of you see this- where were you getting your suits from the love you to death era? I'm trying to find something similar for prom (I'm going with the girl I like!!) . I would consider you famous- although half the time when I tell people my favorite band is tegan and Sara they don't know who you are (maybe because more people my age need to listen to tegan and Sara). I've been listening to a ton of tegan and Sara today too- love you to death (my favorite) , if it was you, sainthood and of course crybaby (my other favorite). And I just bought the still jealous CD yesterday.
Edit:
I read this post earlier but decided to go back and actually listen to the audio. Tegan, you have a very nice voice and you are the exact opposite of "washed up" and "irrelevant". you've literally done everything - the albums, the book, the show and so much more. And you figured out how to use TikTok and beReal when I think most 42 year olds aren't that good at social media (It was no walk in the park showing my mom and teacher how Instagram works 💀)
Love the story about your grandma, she sounds just like mine. We would walk in the door and she would go into her kitchenette to make some tea. Next thing you know we would have a mug if tea, a plate of chips (fries) and a fried egg sandwhich. 😂 My friends used to go and visit her without me because she loved having visitors. She was a professional cook (not a chef, she always pointed out the differences because as a woman she couldn’t be a chef), even cooked for the Prince of Wales before he became King Edward VIII and then abdicated, also a single parent to three girls as my grandpa died young. I wish I could just talk to her again as an adult. 💜 (sorry, I rambled on this part)
Does Sofia have a country in mind that she would like to live in the future? Also did she teach you to cook Brazilian dishes and is she a good and patient teacher?
We used to go camping and I feel you on the hoping you don’t get murdered! 😂😂😂 loved this post and am looking forward to part 2.
Awe! Your Gram sounds incredible! Thank you for sharing!
Sofia has not taught me anything in the kitchen, but I love watching her prepare and cook, she's so meticulous and patient. We did a lot of food prepping and cooking and baking this holiday and we would put movies on and it was a total joy!
Sofia would love to go back to Italy to live, she was there for 5 years and loves it there.
I think we both think about Brazil, maybe the US again at some point. It's tough. I just want to be close to so many friends and family, imagining leaving for too long makes me sick to my stomach. But having a place in Mexico we could go to for half the year is a dream. I could go on and on! I just want to be everywhere and at home all at the same time! LOL!
Oh god. Don't get me started on camping. We camped growing up. Sofia has never. Now she's dying to. I am trying to get friends to take her. LOL. I can't even imagine going with the dog. My god. Nightmare. LOL.
I’m 54 this year and have osteoarthritis, I’m so over 25 yrs of 2 week camping holidays to the Isle of Man on the back of a motorcycle to watch the TT Races. Now I want a comfy bed, not an inflatable mattress that slowly loses air overnight so you wake up on the ground with a rock sticking in your back. I’m still happy to sit outside the venue from 6am to get barrier for one of your shows, keeping everyone else warm as I don’t feel the cold. 😂😂
Love this post 🥰 I can absolutely relate to being motivated by food. We sometimes base our holidays away around food 😅 We are going back to Japan later this year because we absolutely loved visiting Tokyo a few years ago and want to go and explore it further. But being completely honest, we are mostly going back for the food 🥘 😆 x
Sofia is headed there soon for her first time and she is so excited about the food. It's the best! I hope you guys have an amazing trip back there this year!!
She’s going to absolutely love it there, being a foodie especially! I would fly all the way over just for their Hokkaido Baked Cheese Tarts (incredible) alone 😛 I hope she has an amazing time (she will) ☺️ Thanks Tegan, very excited, roll on May! x
Also, I forgot to add before I posted... do you have a favourite dish or a favourite cuisine? Is there a meal that you’ve had before that you always think about because it was just THAT good? 😛
I LOVE Indian food. It was devastating to learn I'm allergic to Tomato, garlic and red pepper. I also really love Italian food. So it's been...hard to try and limit/cut out most of the food I used to live on. UGH! But I still treat myself.
Is it a nightshade allergy? Do you mind me asking, how did that present itself and how did you figure that out? I ask because I tried cutting out nightshades (among many other things) to try to improve my skin issues (psoriasis mainly) and found it helpful but so damn hard to fully eliminate long term. Tomatoes and peppers are in frickin everything!!
PS. I also love Indian food, likely will never be able to fully go off nightshades just so I can eat the curry! ALL the curry!
Awww how gutting! I feel for you. I LOVE Indian food too, and I could eat pasta until it came out my ears 😆 So sorry you’ve had to cut/limit those things as I can imagine it isn’t easy. Sounds like you can still enjoy as a treat which I guess makes it that bit more special when you do (if it doesn’t affect you too badly that is!) x
Yeah, I tried to make the jam tarts and didn't come close to hers BUT it still made me so happy. Mom makes the tourtiere with Michael every year. It's nice. But I think Gramma's...was special.
I too would love to have my grandma/grandparents as my dream dinner guest. Sadly they all are not here anymore, so to have even one last time to sit around a table and eat a meal with each other would be nothing short of amazing. So many great memories were always shared around a dinner table, whether at home or out at a restaurant. I get all misty eyed even thinking about it.
Yeah, the over 70’s are scary years. The older you get, the sicker you get. So getting old can be plain scary. I take care of my older sister who has dementia and it is scary watching her getting worse, although nobody else in my family has it. I just try to stay in the moment and not focus on the future. It curbs the fear, although it is hard not to give in to the anxiety. 70 isn’t too far off in my future but I have a myriad of physical health problems now. I think you just age gracefully and roll with the punches. You develop mastery over your fears. I think more often than not, aging is a gradual process. I have the usual forgetfulness, i.e. forget where I put things, etc. I’ve read and always keep in mind that 99% of our fears don’t come true. I can honestly say that at my age, that is true. Most of what I have been afraid of in the past has never come true. I come from a horrible home, so being murdered has always been one of those fears. I’m still here. I’m grateful for everything that I have, everyday and take nothing for granted. Gratitude keeps the fear down too. I’m starting to sound like a 12 step calendar lol!
Thanks for sharing Lori. I'm sorry you went through what you did with your sis. BUT I am so glad you feel gratitude and don't take things for granted. Those are big lessons! And it's the right way to think!
Thank you Tegan, for your support. You are right, I have learned big lessons, and coping skills from what I have been through in life. Gratitude keeps me moving along and I’m happier practicing it and definitely taking nothing for granted brings me gratitude. They work together. If I could have dinner with anyone, it would be with you. I would love to listen to your wisdom and experiences in life and talk with you more. I think you are pretty amazing and super cool! 😎🥰
Feb 9, 2023·edited Feb 9, 2023Liked by Tegan and Sara
Hey Tegan,
I’m so tired I nearly called you Sara (i’ve been able to confidently tell you apart for more than a year). This’ll hopefully be shorter than my average comment (for my sake).
It was really interesting hearing you answer those questions, there’s loads of those that now at my age (16) I’d have no idea how to answer. I do have to say I’ve heard people talking about your career as if So jealous and The Con where when you were well known and now they talk about you like your old. I hate hearing you being called a Heritage act, to me that brings to mind singers with white hair and wrinkles. Not two people who are still putting out fantastic stuff!
Also as someone who was born in between So jealous and The con I highly resent people saying that was when you were at your best. (Having said that I love the con (it’s in my top 3 of your albums and I love So jealous too!) I hope I got my point across. To me you two will never be irrelevant and just because you’re in your 40’s doesn’t automatically make you irrelevant, and neither does having a 25 year career, all that means is you aren’t 25. (And that you therefore have a lot of experience, which is great!).
Wait a minute, so your “What is” Mantra was for 2022? Because if that’s the case, I need to redo my tattoo quoting you, Tegan! 😂 😉 Jk, definitely respect your growth mindset and Mantra for 2023. You and Sofia sound a lot like my wife Mary and I. We will celebrate 21 years together, this year, and we are absolutely looking forward to the band touring. I loved this very honest post and I will encourage you and Sara to keep writing because the gift you both embody is not just in music. I think your mom really shared not only the youthful genes, but the depth of thought you and Sara share in your posts. Somehow, they are therapeutic. Thank you for your sincerity!
P.S. If you are looking for shows to binge with Sofia, check out Yellowjackets, Your Honor, and 7 Seconds.
“hoping no one murders me” 🤣🤣
I laughed at that 😂
Me too. Well, more of a chortle but still.
I can relate! Living in the woods can be both peaceful and terrifying
Whenever my family travel and we're somewhere secluded I'm like "this is gorgeous, sign me up, would've never stayed here on my own."
Ooo. What's your favorite dish to make? What's Sofia's?
P.S. I loved your tribute to your grandma. Made me think of my dad. Miss you, Pop.
I do a lot of Instapot dishes. Stews, curries, soups. But now I use it to make the PERFECT rice. I also use our air fryer a lot. Makes veggies so much more fun! Sofia doesn't eat meat but she makes an incredible chicken curry dish. The thing that blows my mind about Sofia is how meticulous she is with her preparation and she follows recipes. She's so patient. I am...not. This past Sunday she made a sweet potato brownie recipe that blew my mind.
My Mrs makes an awesome beetroot brownie too,have to try the sweet pot one 🙂
New fav entry! Thanks for sharing Tegan ❤️ now I'm curious, as a Brazilian, does Sofia cook Brazilian food for you? What's your favourite? Don't say brigadeiro, that doesn't count!
HA! She does make bad ass brigadeiro. :). She doesn't make much Brazilian food at home, but we have a favorite spot here in the city we go and we shop at the Brazilian grocery store! It's fun seeing her get so happy and excited to eat stuff from her childhood.
It’s nice to hear about you and Sofia bonding over not having children AND being confident in yourselves and each other over that, but still LOVING being aunts!
On a selfish note, it gives me hope to someday find a gf who understands this. At the moment, most people (except my parents luckily) hail an onslaught of questions as to WHY I don’t want children. “Well if you love being an aunt, you’ll love being a mom even more.”
I could really get into this.
It’s just nice to hear you two have that in common, because right now I have that in common with no one.
This was a lovely post Tegan. I look forward to the rest.
PS, your last two albums have become my favorites of yours and a couple favorites in general. They sound fresh and different and cool and are regular go to’s. The beautiful thing about art is that you’re never too old to make it, or to dabble and experiment.
Thanks for all this, Rae!
May I suggest a book for you to read? It was one that helped me on my journey to realizing I wasn't interested in having kids. It's called Selfish, Shallow and Self Absorbed.
Don't let the title scare you, and don't let it make you feel judged. It's tongue and cheek! Highly recommend it!
Oh! Might I suggest something back?
On YouTube and Tubi (a free streaming service) the late great Katharine Hepburn was interviewed by Dick Cavett.
2, 1 hour interviews of a 66 y.o woman in 1973 discussing all sorts of societal things.
You may not agree with everything she says, but she’s still fascinating! She talks about not having children too (and that was the 70s). It’s a hypnotizing interview regarding issues still discussed today. 11/10 recommend.✌️
Lol. Cool. I will hop on Amazon now. Thank you so much.🫶
On point!
"Learning new things, The journey isn’t over... these revelations only come when you’re middle-aged" I'm always trying new things for my work (design & 3D) thats what keep me alive in some way between monitors, some times I hope my greatest stuff" its not done yet and I agree that some revelations come in time with experience... My only concern its that Im starting to feel tired...
Tnx for sharing. Love T&S.
same.
Such an insightful read! I love your storytelling 🥰 As someone whom is your age I agree with a lot of your views. Getting older but feeling young in the mind and still looking young-ish is a bitch!! So much love to you and yours!! ❤️🍻
Thanks, Erin. Glad it resonated.
I am always grateful when a new post comes in. I admire your honesty and willingness to share yourself. Thanks
Thanks, Judy!
It's something I love about them, too! I'm an addict, refreshing Substack because I can feel a new post coming. LOL.
I hear you!!!
i absolutely loved this substack post. i think you guys dress really cool too. Also, if either of you see this- where were you getting your suits from the love you to death era? I'm trying to find something similar for prom (I'm going with the girl I like!!) . I would consider you famous- although half the time when I tell people my favorite band is tegan and Sara they don't know who you are (maybe because more people my age need to listen to tegan and Sara). I've been listening to a ton of tegan and Sara today too- love you to death (my favorite) , if it was you, sainthood and of course crybaby (my other favorite). And I just bought the still jealous CD yesterday.
Edit:
I read this post earlier but decided to go back and actually listen to the audio. Tegan, you have a very nice voice and you are the exact opposite of "washed up" and "irrelevant". you've literally done everything - the albums, the book, the show and so much more. And you figured out how to use TikTok and beReal when I think most 42 year olds aren't that good at social media (It was no walk in the park showing my mom and teacher how Instagram works 💀)
I promise I don't ever feel washed up or irrelevant for long. It passes. :)
I don't know what those suits were...I'm sorry I can't be more helpful. I do love Paul Frank suits!
I hope you have an amazing time at your prom!!!!!
Love the story about your grandma, she sounds just like mine. We would walk in the door and she would go into her kitchenette to make some tea. Next thing you know we would have a mug if tea, a plate of chips (fries) and a fried egg sandwhich. 😂 My friends used to go and visit her without me because she loved having visitors. She was a professional cook (not a chef, she always pointed out the differences because as a woman she couldn’t be a chef), even cooked for the Prince of Wales before he became King Edward VIII and then abdicated, also a single parent to three girls as my grandpa died young. I wish I could just talk to her again as an adult. 💜 (sorry, I rambled on this part)
Does Sofia have a country in mind that she would like to live in the future? Also did she teach you to cook Brazilian dishes and is she a good and patient teacher?
We used to go camping and I feel you on the hoping you don’t get murdered! 😂😂😂 loved this post and am looking forward to part 2.
Awe! Your Gram sounds incredible! Thank you for sharing!
Sofia has not taught me anything in the kitchen, but I love watching her prepare and cook, she's so meticulous and patient. We did a lot of food prepping and cooking and baking this holiday and we would put movies on and it was a total joy!
Sofia would love to go back to Italy to live, she was there for 5 years and loves it there.
I think we both think about Brazil, maybe the US again at some point. It's tough. I just want to be close to so many friends and family, imagining leaving for too long makes me sick to my stomach. But having a place in Mexico we could go to for half the year is a dream. I could go on and on! I just want to be everywhere and at home all at the same time! LOL!
Oh god. Don't get me started on camping. We camped growing up. Sofia has never. Now she's dying to. I am trying to get friends to take her. LOL. I can't even imagine going with the dog. My god. Nightmare. LOL.
21 years in the Army. I'm over camping, too.
Same on the camping! “Camping? I don’t know her” 😂
I’m 54 this year and have osteoarthritis, I’m so over 25 yrs of 2 week camping holidays to the Isle of Man on the back of a motorcycle to watch the TT Races. Now I want a comfy bed, not an inflatable mattress that slowly loses air overnight so you wake up on the ground with a rock sticking in your back. I’m still happy to sit outside the venue from 6am to get barrier for one of your shows, keeping everyone else warm as I don’t feel the cold. 😂😂
Cool story about your Grandma. She sounds amazing.
Love this post 🥰 I can absolutely relate to being motivated by food. We sometimes base our holidays away around food 😅 We are going back to Japan later this year because we absolutely loved visiting Tokyo a few years ago and want to go and explore it further. But being completely honest, we are mostly going back for the food 🥘 😆 x
Sofia is headed there soon for her first time and she is so excited about the food. It's the best! I hope you guys have an amazing trip back there this year!!
She’s going to absolutely love it there, being a foodie especially! I would fly all the way over just for their Hokkaido Baked Cheese Tarts (incredible) alone 😛 I hope she has an amazing time (she will) ☺️ Thanks Tegan, very excited, roll on May! x
Also, I forgot to add before I posted... do you have a favourite dish or a favourite cuisine? Is there a meal that you’ve had before that you always think about because it was just THAT good? 😛
I LOVE Indian food. It was devastating to learn I'm allergic to Tomato, garlic and red pepper. I also really love Italian food. So it's been...hard to try and limit/cut out most of the food I used to live on. UGH! But I still treat myself.
This actually breaks my heart since I am half Italian and half Indian (no kidding). I would die if I was allergic. Die of hunger.
Is it a nightshade allergy? Do you mind me asking, how did that present itself and how did you figure that out? I ask because I tried cutting out nightshades (among many other things) to try to improve my skin issues (psoriasis mainly) and found it helpful but so damn hard to fully eliminate long term. Tomatoes and peppers are in frickin everything!!
PS. I also love Indian food, likely will never be able to fully go off nightshades just so I can eat the curry! ALL the curry!
Awww how gutting! I feel for you. I LOVE Indian food too, and I could eat pasta until it came out my ears 😆 So sorry you’ve had to cut/limit those things as I can imagine it isn’t easy. Sounds like you can still enjoy as a treat which I guess makes it that bit more special when you do (if it doesn’t affect you too badly that is!) x
I still have fond memories of Tourtière and some sort of Jam tarts. She made the BEST pastry.
Yeah, I tried to make the jam tarts and didn't come close to hers BUT it still made me so happy. Mom makes the tourtiere with Michael every year. It's nice. But I think Gramma's...was special.
Love these questions, you gave such thoughtful answers! I might answer these later as a journaling exercise.
Do it!!!
Such wonderful and thoughtful answers!
I too would love to have my grandma/grandparents as my dream dinner guest. Sadly they all are not here anymore, so to have even one last time to sit around a table and eat a meal with each other would be nothing short of amazing. So many great memories were always shared around a dinner table, whether at home or out at a restaurant. I get all misty eyed even thinking about it.
I love writing about my grandparents. I think I want to do more of it. I'm glad it resonated with so many of you. I'm sorry yours are gone too. ❤️
Same. The kitchen is the soul of a loving house, no?!
Yeah, the over 70’s are scary years. The older you get, the sicker you get. So getting old can be plain scary. I take care of my older sister who has dementia and it is scary watching her getting worse, although nobody else in my family has it. I just try to stay in the moment and not focus on the future. It curbs the fear, although it is hard not to give in to the anxiety. 70 isn’t too far off in my future but I have a myriad of physical health problems now. I think you just age gracefully and roll with the punches. You develop mastery over your fears. I think more often than not, aging is a gradual process. I have the usual forgetfulness, i.e. forget where I put things, etc. I’ve read and always keep in mind that 99% of our fears don’t come true. I can honestly say that at my age, that is true. Most of what I have been afraid of in the past has never come true. I come from a horrible home, so being murdered has always been one of those fears. I’m still here. I’m grateful for everything that I have, everyday and take nothing for granted. Gratitude keeps the fear down too. I’m starting to sound like a 12 step calendar lol!
Thanks for sharing Lori. I'm sorry you went through what you did with your sis. BUT I am so glad you feel gratitude and don't take things for granted. Those are big lessons! And it's the right way to think!
Thank you Tegan, for your support. You are right, I have learned big lessons, and coping skills from what I have been through in life. Gratitude keeps me moving along and I’m happier practicing it and definitely taking nothing for granted brings me gratitude. They work together. If I could have dinner with anyone, it would be with you. I would love to listen to your wisdom and experiences in life and talk with you more. I think you are pretty amazing and super cool! 😎🥰
Sorry about your sister. I know first hand and I wouldn’t wish it on my greatest enemy. 🙁
Thank you. It is a challenge. Thank goodness it’s only her and the rest of us haven’t gotten it.
Hey Tegan,
I’m so tired I nearly called you Sara (i’ve been able to confidently tell you apart for more than a year). This’ll hopefully be shorter than my average comment (for my sake).
It was really interesting hearing you answer those questions, there’s loads of those that now at my age (16) I’d have no idea how to answer. I do have to say I’ve heard people talking about your career as if So jealous and The Con where when you were well known and now they talk about you like your old. I hate hearing you being called a Heritage act, to me that brings to mind singers with white hair and wrinkles. Not two people who are still putting out fantastic stuff!
Also as someone who was born in between So jealous and The con I highly resent people saying that was when you were at your best. (Having said that I love the con (it’s in my top 3 of your albums and I love So jealous too!) I hope I got my point across. To me you two will never be irrelevant and just because you’re in your 40’s doesn’t automatically make you irrelevant, and neither does having a 25 year career, all that means is you aren’t 25. (And that you therefore have a lot of experience, which is great!).
Hope that made sense.
Excited for the tour dates! 🤞🇦🇺!
Phoenix, he/they/it, 16, Australia
Wait a minute, so your “What is” Mantra was for 2022? Because if that’s the case, I need to redo my tattoo quoting you, Tegan! 😂 😉 Jk, definitely respect your growth mindset and Mantra for 2023. You and Sofia sound a lot like my wife Mary and I. We will celebrate 21 years together, this year, and we are absolutely looking forward to the band touring. I loved this very honest post and I will encourage you and Sara to keep writing because the gift you both embody is not just in music. I think your mom really shared not only the youthful genes, but the depth of thought you and Sara share in your posts. Somehow, they are therapeutic. Thank you for your sincerity!
P.S. If you are looking for shows to binge with Sofia, check out Yellowjackets, Your Honor, and 7 Seconds.
21 years! Congrats! That's wild!!!
I liked Yellow jackets! I will check out the other two! Thank you!!!
Your Honor is so good.