Hey Loners,
The first week of July I went on vacation to Mexico. It was a shock to come back to the city. The garbage, heat, humans, and noise after eight days of quiet were jarring, to say the least. The next morning I had to fly to Denver to join Sara and Portugal. The Man on our last few tour dates; a true shock to the system and perhaps bad planning on my part.
I had a few revelations while I was on vacation, and I wanted to share one. I’ve struggled for eight years with chronic hives, flushing, rashes, and reactions. Recently I was told this is because I have an autoimmune disease, likely caused by a virus I caught eight years ago, which was when my reactions started. The hives had subsided a bit in the years that followed but were reactivated when I got sick in March 2020 (I think with Covid?). I’ve been tested for everything, and while I established I had some food allergies, in the end my reactions often happened for no reason.
Eight years later, what I’ve determined with the help of a specialist is that heat (stagnant air in particular), food allergies, alcohol, and worst of all, stress, are what seem to mostly trigger the reactions. But not always! Which is both confusing and frustrating. As a Virgo, I have felt desperate for a clear-cut answer. It does not exist. That same specialist told me to try and lower my stress, build up my immune system, and take 4-5 antihistamines a day until the cycle ends (4-6 years). She suggested I experiment with reducing the pills every few months and see how my body reacts. She even said I could try the foods I’m allergic to in small doses and see what happens. But ultimately, it was stress that was the most likely factor and that was on me to change.
So, needless to say, I was particularly worried about my vacation to Mexico because my hives seem to often be triggered by heat, garlic, tomato, airplanes, and alcohol. When the WestJet mechanics went on strike three nights before Sofia and I left on our annual trip, I was popping antihistamines like mints. Was this vacation a good idea at all? I tried not to stress about it, another trigger, and took off for Mexico on July 1st (on Alaska Airlines).
When Sofia and I arrived at our hotel (aka heaven), I changed into vacation clothes and got to business relaxing and shrugging off … everything.
I don’t travel with a computer or even talk about work on vacation. Ever. It’s an annual tradition and I can’t recommend it enough. It was a true unplug, recharge, escape from reality situation. I was vacation Tegan from the second I popped my wide-brimmed straw hat on at 3:10 am as we left for the airport.
I think it was day four when I realized I’d forgotten to take any antihistamines since I’d been in Mexico. How was that possible, I wondered? I decided not to take any the rest of the trip and see what would happen. Over the course of the eight days, I had zero reactions. Zero hives. Zero swelling, or flushing. I was…fine. PS I had no garlic but I did have alcohol, baked in the sun for eight days, put weird sunscreen all over my face and ate tomato.
So, my big takeaway? My hives? The swelling? The flushing? The rashes? The reactions? They are caused by stress. The biggest trigger and assault on my health is THAT. And my stress isn’t just directly linked to work, but also the everyday pressure I put on myself to deliver every ounce of myself to friends, family, my partner, my dog, the world! And that’s on me! ALL ON ME! And I came home with a tan and the knowledge that ONLY I can change this. It’s not as easy as just working less or taking more time for me. It’s how I’m wired. I have a difficult time relaxing, not moving, not doing. I have been on a trajectory for twenty-six years where I produce more and more content, music, art, blogs, emails, work, work, work every single year. I never stop. Never breathe. Never feel done. Then you add a growing list of personal projects and travel, and important people all over the planet that I want to connect with and a really absurd pressure to have a perfect dog and clean house...and wow...I’m stressed just writing this now!
BUT! Good news! It takes me literally ZERO seconds to relax into a vacation! So I know I’m capable of turning it off this weird insatiable need to do things at all times inside me. Or at least, I can turn it down. It = the noise of MUST DO THIS, MUST DO THAT!
I can’t promise that I will be able to figure out how to turn it down out here in the real world, but I am going to try. Because the way my body and mind felt on vacation (helped along by the great food, great hotel, and eight days of sipping margs by the pool and reading books by the ocean) was how my brain and body should always feel. I know that’s ridiculous and unrealistic, but it seems worth trying for something close to it. You know? Like, even in the ballpark? The weekend? Something.
I share this because I mentioned that I had made a major change to the way I laid out my day at home – being creative in the morning, as opposed to doing work emails and calls first thing – and how effective that had been on my creative self. So, accept this second entry into the “how to be less stressed” series I am now working on in my life. I’d like to add
go on more vacations
work less
think about working less
ask less of my body
be kinder to my body
Wish me luck! Any hot tips, drop them in the comments.
-Tegan
My Case For Vacation