Not you being allergic to stress 😩 sorry you went through all that, but I'm glad you're getting to understand your body better and will be more in control of what happens to it. What helps me is to identify when something is stressful and understand that it's temporary, I give myself time to process it and figure out what to do next. Body doesn't lie and I still feel the consequences of stress but my mind feels at ease. Vacation and weed also help me hehe, thanks for sharing, Tegan!
God, how much I resonate with this. I get stress bloating and eczema. Basically stress and overworking is ruining my life. Since I teach, I have many breaks, but even when I’m on breaks, I’m stressed and worried about all the other things I need to do as an adult or the research papers I need to work on as side projects. I am on anxiety meds that help me sleep because my ADHD doesn’t allow me a moment of none-thinking, but when I was on vacation in the spring, just three days without work, internet, family, and worry—that was just paradise. My friends and I went to a luxury hotel in the Dead Sea and I determined to have a room on my own so I can relax fully. Funny thing, I forgot to take my meds during those days and slept like a baby. I am not allowed much alcohol so it wouldn’t mess up my moods and yet I drank freely and felt so good. I tanned and no eczema or skin allergies hurt my skin. (I still couldn’t have gluten though because I didn’t wait to risk it much.) Problem is that vacations don’t last and, honestly, I can’t wait for my next vacation.
ugh! so sorry to hear you deal with this too. that sounds rough. but it is kind of amazing that we all know what we can do if we want to change it. STOP DOING SO MUCH!
The thing that shocks me is that you churn out a LOT of content, but unlike most people, you consistently churn out very GOOD content. So it seems you have a lot to say, in a format that people love, so how do you take a step back? Especially in a world where you've had to grind to build your audience organically? I recently watched a video by Trixie Mattel where she discusses taking an extended break, and how it's so hard to close the door on opportunities when you're someone who has had to hustle their whole life. I guess the answer lies within being at peace with closing a few of those doors. At 30, I haven't yet mastered this, but I appreciate your insights on how overextending yourself is really the source of your issues.
Well first off, I appreciate that you think we are churning out GOOD content. LOL! I hope so.
I totally relate to Trixie. It is hard to get to a point where you are coasting a bit, and cool opportunities are hitting and you're also exhausted and you need to take a break. It does feel like we've been taught/trained to think that if we don't say yes to everything we're idiots and if we say no to anything that opportunity won't come back around. Rationally I know that is not true, but it is something we grapple with. Even social media, we both hate doing it, but the less we do it, the less engagement we get, and it's the most organic and direct way to connect with a large audience we feel compelled to do it..but then we don't really put much of ourselves into it which gets less engagement..it's a vicious cycle...and all stems from fatigue. And also, I think MOST people feel this way, not just musicians etc. It's just hard to market and sell all the same time. There are so many expectations. So opportunities - even amazing ones - something have this dark cloud over them because I immediately think..oh god we're going to have to market and do social media around this opportunity and it just sucks the fun out. Ya know? So. Anyway. That's out shit to deal with but it's top of mind. To make good content, to keep churning out meaningful songs and stories we have to be invested in the whole process and something we aren't so...we have to mind that and be careful. AND WE ARE!
Since your reply came from a different account than the original poster, I can't tell if I'm getting catfished or if you just have a burner account - ha! Either way, I hear you on all fronts.
Love this! I didn’t have physical reactions to stress like what you experience but I got to a point a couple years ago where I knew I needed a change. One tactic I have adopted when my head starts to make unattainable lists that make me feel crazy or wouldnt even know where to start is to say to my partner
“I feel like there was something important I was supposed to do today. Is there something you needed me to do that I forgot?”
And if he cant come up with anything then IT IS FINE TO DO NOTHING! He is also amazing enough to pick up on when I am asking because I need help without saying I need help. He will say “There’s nothing I can think of that needs to be done or errands we need to run. Why don’t you keep working on that painting? Or do a duo lingo lesson? Or practice your guitar?” He will push me to hobbies if I’m spiraling about productivity and it is perfect.
I could write a novel on this subject matter. every session, I have to be reminded to not be so hard on myself in all all aspects of my life. Breaking hardwired mental habits and experiences I try to reframe everyday. I'll say it's tough and sometimes draining. however, I have less acne, mood dips, chronic fatigue, and digestion isn't worrisome anymore. my goal is to have smile wrinkles and be indifferent to the rest because I am alive and strong. resilient and intelligent enough to know it's not rhw end of the world if something isn't done perfect. or at all.
Wherever you stayed at in MX looks amazing - peaceful and relaxing! Yes, stress is the pits. Glad to hear you were able to basically unplug and just be in the moment. Thank you for sharing.
After a burnout that sent me to bed for 2 weeks straight a couple years ago, I deal with my cortisol as Elaine from Seinfield deals with her precious sponges. "Ok, but is it cortisol worthy? Is it reallyreallllly my cortisol worthy?"
Something majorly helpful you can do to reduce stress in "the real world" is adding any combo of nervous system regulation to your daily activities. Like breathwork, meditation, playing vagus nerve frequencies or any frequency music you enjoy (you can find it on streaming platforms but youtube is great place to explore this stuff if you don't know what you're looking for), being outside (touching your bare feet to the ground, getting sun, etc...). Any of these, combined with practicing mindfulness will also help you be more aware of the thoughts you have and how fast they get stressy, and will probably help you better understand your physical and mental state of being. Much easier to do when you start your mornings doing creative things, but also great to add in the middle of your workday and/or end of your work before switching to home stuff. Helps to let go of unnoticed and unnecessary tension that tends to build throughout the day. The body communicates so much but most of us forgot how to speak its language but if you take the time to you can be and feel the best that you ever have. Lastly, moving your body daily (dance, exercise, walking, yoga) will help with releasing new and old tension (sometimes releasing decades old tension)!
Ugh, I am a terrible person to ask for advice on stressing less, but I can say this: it looks like vacation Tegan ilis one of the happiest people in the world; I struggle to relax and even have been struggling in my 15+ years of sobriety partly because of this among many other reasons. But I have come to the realization that it is just a matter of learning to let things go; and after a minor setback, I'm back on track. Once I figure out how to do the whole relaxing thing I'll let you know LOL 😂 I'm a Leo myself, and am coming to realize that (even though it goes against my Leo nature) it's ok not to be the strong one, and it feels like the weight of the world is not on my shoulders anymore. Maybe that's the first step; next step, work on those weaknesses and make them a form of inner peace and contentedness. If you can find that, you should be good 💯 sincerely, the humble wordsmith
So glad you were able to enjoy an stress-free vacation! Can't wait to see you in Ottawa? Random question but do you know what day you are going to be at Comic-Con? I need to start planning my trip to NYC and knowing the day would super help in figuring out what I'm doing LOL.
Why are you answering all of these comments like you’re the actual Tegan and Sara? This is obviously fake Tegan. Please stop. This is so disrespectful.
Thank you for starting this conversation around stress and taking care of ourselves.
Lexapro for the win with me as well. Stress is the #1 cause of my eczema flare ups, anxiety, and poor sleep.
I recently read “The 5 Resets: Rewire Your Brain and Body for Less Stress and More Resilience.” I recommend it—the author shares a lot of great techniques to help reduce stress. It was written by a doctor who specializes in stress management.
look into Bee Venom instead of anti-histamines... in my late 20s/early 30s I used to get hives/itch to the point that I'd scratch until I was bleeding... for me, there were no side effects, I needed a few weekly injections and then enjoyed years of relief (we're about the same age) - I'm only now feeling like I might need another round - it's like this post reminded me that my high-stress life is causing the itch to ramp up again
I’m getting a kick out of the fact that Lexapro has been mentioned more than once in the comments here, lol. It really is MVP 🫡 I started it back in spring for anxiety and if I had to sum up how it makes me feel in one word it would be: unbothered.
Also laughing that I said to one of my group chats recently that my typical topics of conversation are health woes and whatever book I’m reading lately, and how fitting that seemed for my age bracket. Those are just the things to talk about as we all get older! “This body is falling apart but check out this book I read recently.” (Oh the book I’d read was Wired For Love by Stephanie Cacioppo. Very sweet. Can’t miss a chance to rec a book I liked. The theme of love itself in the book also seemed very… the opposite of stress.)
I’m on my own health journey this summer, got a wonderful neurologist, seemingly zeroing in on an autoimmune related answer to a 21 year mystery. Pretty wild. Immune system is kind of a villain sometimes 😒
wow! a 21 year old mystery! I hope you find some answers. the auto immune related stuff is so wild.
re lexapro and medication in general...I truly think I've always managed my anxiety so I thought I didn't need medication, but recently I've started to explore the effort and energy i use TO manage the anxiety, stress, worry etc..and have been thinking about what medication might relieve for me! It's fascinating.
The tricky part is how much variability there is in people’s response, one med can be amazing for one person but suck for someone else. I wish it weren’t so hit or miss.
The mystery diagnosis that my drs and I are narrowing in on is narcolepsy type 1 (immune system attacks a very specific little part of the brain that’s responsible for regulating sleep/wake cycles). What’s REALLY wild is that one of the symptoms (cataplexy, which is sudden temporary bouts of muscle weakness) is often treated with SSRIs. So I had this really funny chain of events this summer that started when I had the Lexapro prescribed simply for anxiety. On the follow-up, I got to bring a big big piece of the puzzle to the table. Like “yeah yeah, anxiety is doing great, but also, really interesting update: ever since I started taking this stuff, my head doesn’t drop anymore.” 👀 I knew I was a sleepy person, but I didn’t know the head drop was abnormal until it disappeared. I just thought that’s what being wicked tired felt like 🤷
It IS fascinating what kinds of little tricks medications can have up their sleeves.
Tegan! It was so nice seeing your happy, smiling vacation face when I got the notification for the new post today! Loved this one. 😎
Thank you! I sure do love vacations. HA
Not you being allergic to stress 😩 sorry you went through all that, but I'm glad you're getting to understand your body better and will be more in control of what happens to it. What helps me is to identify when something is stressful and understand that it's temporary, I give myself time to process it and figure out what to do next. Body doesn't lie and I still feel the consequences of stress but my mind feels at ease. Vacation and weed also help me hehe, thanks for sharing, Tegan!
allergic to stress! OMG! So true. What a way to say it. LOL.
God, how much I resonate with this. I get stress bloating and eczema. Basically stress and overworking is ruining my life. Since I teach, I have many breaks, but even when I’m on breaks, I’m stressed and worried about all the other things I need to do as an adult or the research papers I need to work on as side projects. I am on anxiety meds that help me sleep because my ADHD doesn’t allow me a moment of none-thinking, but when I was on vacation in the spring, just three days without work, internet, family, and worry—that was just paradise. My friends and I went to a luxury hotel in the Dead Sea and I determined to have a room on my own so I can relax fully. Funny thing, I forgot to take my meds during those days and slept like a baby. I am not allowed much alcohol so it wouldn’t mess up my moods and yet I drank freely and felt so good. I tanned and no eczema or skin allergies hurt my skin. (I still couldn’t have gluten though because I didn’t wait to risk it much.) Problem is that vacations don’t last and, honestly, I can’t wait for my next vacation.
ugh! so sorry to hear you deal with this too. that sounds rough. but it is kind of amazing that we all know what we can do if we want to change it. STOP DOING SO MUCH!
Can someone confirm if this account is legit. There are two Tegan accounts now? After what just came out I feel like this needs figured out 🥺
Thanks 🙃
The thing that shocks me is that you churn out a LOT of content, but unlike most people, you consistently churn out very GOOD content. So it seems you have a lot to say, in a format that people love, so how do you take a step back? Especially in a world where you've had to grind to build your audience organically? I recently watched a video by Trixie Mattel where she discusses taking an extended break, and how it's so hard to close the door on opportunities when you're someone who has had to hustle their whole life. I guess the answer lies within being at peace with closing a few of those doors. At 30, I haven't yet mastered this, but I appreciate your insights on how overextending yourself is really the source of your issues.
Well first off, I appreciate that you think we are churning out GOOD content. LOL! I hope so.
I totally relate to Trixie. It is hard to get to a point where you are coasting a bit, and cool opportunities are hitting and you're also exhausted and you need to take a break. It does feel like we've been taught/trained to think that if we don't say yes to everything we're idiots and if we say no to anything that opportunity won't come back around. Rationally I know that is not true, but it is something we grapple with. Even social media, we both hate doing it, but the less we do it, the less engagement we get, and it's the most organic and direct way to connect with a large audience we feel compelled to do it..but then we don't really put much of ourselves into it which gets less engagement..it's a vicious cycle...and all stems from fatigue. And also, I think MOST people feel this way, not just musicians etc. It's just hard to market and sell all the same time. There are so many expectations. So opportunities - even amazing ones - something have this dark cloud over them because I immediately think..oh god we're going to have to market and do social media around this opportunity and it just sucks the fun out. Ya know? So. Anyway. That's out shit to deal with but it's top of mind. To make good content, to keep churning out meaningful songs and stories we have to be invested in the whole process and something we aren't so...we have to mind that and be careful. AND WE ARE!
Since your reply came from a different account than the original poster, I can't tell if I'm getting catfished or if you just have a burner account - ha! Either way, I hear you on all fronts.
✍️ quit job ✍️ less stress ✍️ got it!
Love this! I didn’t have physical reactions to stress like what you experience but I got to a point a couple years ago where I knew I needed a change. One tactic I have adopted when my head starts to make unattainable lists that make me feel crazy or wouldnt even know where to start is to say to my partner
“I feel like there was something important I was supposed to do today. Is there something you needed me to do that I forgot?”
And if he cant come up with anything then IT IS FINE TO DO NOTHING! He is also amazing enough to pick up on when I am asking because I need help without saying I need help. He will say “There’s nothing I can think of that needs to be done or errands we need to run. Why don’t you keep working on that painting? Or do a duo lingo lesson? Or practice your guitar?” He will push me to hobbies if I’m spiraling about productivity and it is perfect.
Love this!
I could write a novel on this subject matter. every session, I have to be reminded to not be so hard on myself in all all aspects of my life. Breaking hardwired mental habits and experiences I try to reframe everyday. I'll say it's tough and sometimes draining. however, I have less acne, mood dips, chronic fatigue, and digestion isn't worrisome anymore. my goal is to have smile wrinkles and be indifferent to the rest because I am alive and strong. resilient and intelligent enough to know it's not rhw end of the world if something isn't done perfect. or at all.
what a great goal (smile wrinkles!)
Wherever you stayed at in MX looks amazing - peaceful and relaxing! Yes, stress is the pits. Glad to hear you were able to basically unplug and just be in the moment. Thank you for sharing.
After a burnout that sent me to bed for 2 weeks straight a couple years ago, I deal with my cortisol as Elaine from Seinfield deals with her precious sponges. "Ok, but is it cortisol worthy? Is it reallyreallllly my cortisol worthy?"
(A silly mechanism that helps a lot.)
this is funny! I will try it!
Something majorly helpful you can do to reduce stress in "the real world" is adding any combo of nervous system regulation to your daily activities. Like breathwork, meditation, playing vagus nerve frequencies or any frequency music you enjoy (you can find it on streaming platforms but youtube is great place to explore this stuff if you don't know what you're looking for), being outside (touching your bare feet to the ground, getting sun, etc...). Any of these, combined with practicing mindfulness will also help you be more aware of the thoughts you have and how fast they get stressy, and will probably help you better understand your physical and mental state of being. Much easier to do when you start your mornings doing creative things, but also great to add in the middle of your workday and/or end of your work before switching to home stuff. Helps to let go of unnoticed and unnecessary tension that tends to build throughout the day. The body communicates so much but most of us forgot how to speak its language but if you take the time to you can be and feel the best that you ever have. Lastly, moving your body daily (dance, exercise, walking, yoga) will help with releasing new and old tension (sometimes releasing decades old tension)!
so true! working out, breath work, visualization, less drinking, less working, it's all been so helpful!
Ugh, I am a terrible person to ask for advice on stressing less, but I can say this: it looks like vacation Tegan ilis one of the happiest people in the world; I struggle to relax and even have been struggling in my 15+ years of sobriety partly because of this among many other reasons. But I have come to the realization that it is just a matter of learning to let things go; and after a minor setback, I'm back on track. Once I figure out how to do the whole relaxing thing I'll let you know LOL 😂 I'm a Leo myself, and am coming to realize that (even though it goes against my Leo nature) it's ok not to be the strong one, and it feels like the weight of the world is not on my shoulders anymore. Maybe that's the first step; next step, work on those weaknesses and make them a form of inner peace and contentedness. If you can find that, you should be good 💯 sincerely, the humble wordsmith
So glad you were able to enjoy an stress-free vacation! Can't wait to see you in Ottawa? Random question but do you know what day you are going to be at Comic-Con? I need to start planning my trip to NYC and knowing the day would super help in figuring out what I'm doing LOL.
Why are you answering all of these comments like you’re the actual Tegan and Sara? This is obviously fake Tegan. Please stop. This is so disrespectful.
Thank you for starting this conversation around stress and taking care of ourselves.
Lexapro for the win with me as well. Stress is the #1 cause of my eczema flare ups, anxiety, and poor sleep.
I recently read “The 5 Resets: Rewire Your Brain and Body for Less Stress and More Resilience.” I recommend it—the author shares a lot of great techniques to help reduce stress. It was written by a doctor who specializes in stress management.
Will check it out!
look into Bee Venom instead of anti-histamines... in my late 20s/early 30s I used to get hives/itch to the point that I'd scratch until I was bleeding... for me, there were no side effects, I needed a few weekly injections and then enjoyed years of relief (we're about the same age) - I'm only now feeling like I might need another round - it's like this post reminded me that my high-stress life is causing the itch to ramp up again
Someone else told me to do this. I am also trying nettles!
I’m getting a kick out of the fact that Lexapro has been mentioned more than once in the comments here, lol. It really is MVP 🫡 I started it back in spring for anxiety and if I had to sum up how it makes me feel in one word it would be: unbothered.
Also laughing that I said to one of my group chats recently that my typical topics of conversation are health woes and whatever book I’m reading lately, and how fitting that seemed for my age bracket. Those are just the things to talk about as we all get older! “This body is falling apart but check out this book I read recently.” (Oh the book I’d read was Wired For Love by Stephanie Cacioppo. Very sweet. Can’t miss a chance to rec a book I liked. The theme of love itself in the book also seemed very… the opposite of stress.)
I’m on my own health journey this summer, got a wonderful neurologist, seemingly zeroing in on an autoimmune related answer to a 21 year mystery. Pretty wild. Immune system is kind of a villain sometimes 😒
wow! a 21 year old mystery! I hope you find some answers. the auto immune related stuff is so wild.
re lexapro and medication in general...I truly think I've always managed my anxiety so I thought I didn't need medication, but recently I've started to explore the effort and energy i use TO manage the anxiety, stress, worry etc..and have been thinking about what medication might relieve for me! It's fascinating.
The tricky part is how much variability there is in people’s response, one med can be amazing for one person but suck for someone else. I wish it weren’t so hit or miss.
The mystery diagnosis that my drs and I are narrowing in on is narcolepsy type 1 (immune system attacks a very specific little part of the brain that’s responsible for regulating sleep/wake cycles). What’s REALLY wild is that one of the symptoms (cataplexy, which is sudden temporary bouts of muscle weakness) is often treated with SSRIs. So I had this really funny chain of events this summer that started when I had the Lexapro prescribed simply for anxiety. On the follow-up, I got to bring a big big piece of the puzzle to the table. Like “yeah yeah, anxiety is doing great, but also, really interesting update: ever since I started taking this stuff, my head doesn’t drop anymore.” 👀 I knew I was a sleepy person, but I didn’t know the head drop was abnormal until it disappeared. I just thought that’s what being wicked tired felt like 🤷
It IS fascinating what kinds of little tricks medications can have up their sleeves.
I would recommend a mild daily antidepressant like Lexapro to reduce anxiety and produce a more chill vibe.
exploring! sofia joked the other day that me her and Georgia are all very anxious and only two of us are on medication...I took the hint. :)