Tegan,
I found all the email, and text conversations we sent between August 19th 2021 and October 14th 2021 about FUCKING UP WHAT MATTERS. There were at least six versions of the song in my dropbox. Sometimes it just takes a while for a song to bloom. Thanks for letting me tinker with this one so much, I think it turned out great.
Sara
From: TRQ
Subject: Can't Live Without It
Date: August 19, 2021 at 12:51:42 PM PDT
To: SKQ
Stayed up late the night after everyone left. Was inspired by some of the things we had all talked about. Not sure if I landed all the melodies, or even the lyrics, but thought I would send it along anyway. Was going for a 90's Dandy Warhol’s vibe.
Might have landed more in Wallflower’s territory. Also, the bridge is kind of a placeholder. Just didn't want to send it empty.
Can't Live Without It
I’m fucking up what matters
Falling out of love in my sleep
I’m packing up in the background
Slipping out while you dream
I treat you like cigarettes
You’re like a bad habit
I avoid you like alcohol
Around you I’m so careful
Feels good to admit it, I can’t live without it
I try to cut you out, but I can’t live without it
Hate to think what would happen
Hate the feeling that you’d hate me
Still I’m changing in the background
Falling in love in my daydreams
I treat you like cigarettes
I try to kick you like a habit
I avoid you like alcohol
Around you I’m so careful
Feels good to admit it, I can’t live without it
I try to cut you out, but I can’t live without it
How do I recover
From: SKQ
Subject: Re: Can't Live Without It
Date: August 19, 2021 at 1:41:09 PM PDT
To: TRQ
This is great! Really like the lyrics, idea, and melody. Bridge could be better, yes. I think keep at it.
I also wondered if the second pre-chorus could have different lyrics than the cig, alcohol reference...that way when it comes back in the third broken down pre they're fresher feeling?
From: SKQ
Subject: fucking up what matters
Date: August 26, 2021 at 9:59:09 AM PDT
To: TRQ
Took a stab for fun at "popping" up your latest song because I wanted to hear it faster.
Attached is a bounce of me singing it, but also the stems if you like any of what I did and wanna play around, re-sing, trash it whatever!
Didn't get to the bridge yet because I was gonna take a shot at different chords. I also feel like the lyrics in that section could be more interesting. Maybe more things you can't live without, or more about what it is that makes you unable to live without this person. Etc. What's there now feels like a little placeholder.
I would have worked a lot more on this but ran out of time yesterday. So, if you're not into it, no sweat!
-sara
PS. Made a few adjustments to the lyrics for the new tempo...
I’m fucking up what matters, fall in love in my sleep
I’m packing up in the background, slipping out while you dream
I treat you like cigarettes, you’re like a bad habit
I avoid you like alcohol, around you I’m so careful
Feels good to admit it, I can’t live without it
I try to cut you out, but I can’t live without it
I try to cut you out but I, I try to cut you out but I
I hate that this happened, hate that you avoid me
I see you changing your surroundings, making plans without me
You treat me like a credit card, a debt that you can’t afford
Drain me like a bank account, spend until I’m blacking out
Feels good to admit it, I can’t live without it
I try to cut you out, but I can’t live without it
From: TRQ
Subject: Fucking Up What Matters 3.0
Date: September 27, 2021 at 1:38:08 PM PDT
To: SKQ
This is a newer version that's faster than all the versions,
and also has a variation on chords that we sort of talked
about in the studio, as well as a new bridge idea. I also altered
some of the lyrics.
I like some of John's production choices, but I also liked
your start of a version that I originally sent...
Wondering if it's worth trying to create a hybrid? Or start
fresh...
BPM 140
Fucking Up What Matters
C E D x 2
I’m fucking up what matters, making everything about me
I’m packing up in the background, slipping out before this kills me
E C D x 2
I treat you like cigarettes, you’re like a bad habit
I tell myself I’ve got to stop, but I know I can’t help myself
C G C G
Feels good to admit it, I can’t live without it
Aminor G C G C G
I try to cut you out, but I can’t live without it
Aminor G C G Aminor G C G
I try to cut you out but i, I try to cut you out but I
I’m not trying to destroy us; I just hate what we’ve become
Without you I feel empty, but around you I feel numb
I treat you like a credit card, rack up debt I can’t afford
I drain you like a bank account, spend until I’m blacking out
Feels good to admit it, I can’t live without it
I try to cut you out, but I can’t live without it
I try to cut you out but i, I try to cut you out but I
E C G D
You’re like a tattoo, something I can’t undo
E C G D
I hope I got under your skin too
Feels good to admit it, I can’t live without it
I try to cut you out, but I can’t live without it
I try to cut you out but i, I try to cut you out but I,
I try to cut you out but I can’t live without you
From: SKQ
Subject: You're Like A Tattoo
Date: September 27, 2021 at 9:09:51 PM PDT
To: TRQ
Not even close to done but...felt good? Exciting? Went for pixies covering magnetic fields.
You’re like a tattoo, something I can’t undo
I hope I got under your skin too
I'm not trying to destroy us
I just hate what we've become
Without you, I feel empty
But around you, I feel numb
I treat you like a credit card
I can't afford
I drain you like a bank account
Until there's nothing more
I’m fucking up what matters
Falling in love in my sleep
I'm fucking up what matters
Slipping outside while you dream
You’re like a tattoo, something I can’t undo
I hope I got under your skin too
I treat you like a cigarette, such a bad habit
Avoid you like alcohol, I can't really stand it
I’m fucking up what matters
Falling in love in my sleep
I'm fucking up what matters
Slipping outside while you dream
You’re like a tattoo, something I can’t undo
I hope I got under your skin too
On Tue, Sep 28, 2021 at 10:42 AM
TRQ wrote:
This is great!
I definitely think if you want to abandon the original chorus you could...
but I think it's definitely got the right spirit now!
From: SKQ
Subject: Re: You're Like A Tattoo
Date: September 28, 2021 at 7:41:39 PM PDT
To: TRQ
Tried putting in the original chorus...not sure if it works.
On Sep 29, 2021, at 09:24,
TRQ wrote:
oh great. works perfectly. this is in good shape. total banger!
From: SKQ
Subject: Re: You're Like A Tattoo
Date: September 29, 2021 at 9:55:19 AM PDT
To: TRQ
Before I dig further into it do you think I should just send it to john? I feel like it is sitting in a good place but could probably use some outside production perspective.
